A Caregiver’s Online Guide: TyTips on how to care for your loved one: Pt. l


The following are a few simple TyTips (suggestions for you to ponder or practice) that might help when it seems like the only light at the end of the tunnel is complete darkness:

1) Start thinking of the things that you do for your loved one as ‘work’ and act accordingly:

Let’s face it, we all have different standards (usually higher) at work than at home so why not use that to your advantage

By utilizing the discipline, skills and organization at home that you would employ at work, your days will be more productive (the things that you do will be less of a ‘chore’ and more of a ‘task’)

2) Detach:

Detachment can become your best defense against personal attacks

Separating your emotions from the task at hand when you are caring for a loved one can sometimes save you from getting hurt or feeling resentful

If you can separate your feelings from the person you’re caring for (spouse, parent, sibling or friend) then you might be better able to focus on the task at hand when they become verbally abusive or belligerent

3) Stop arguing:

Engaging in an argument with a person with dementia is about as productive as trying to milk a bull

If your loved one becomes argumentative you can listen to what they have to say without responding (sometimes they just want to be heard)

Change the subject (by not directly responding to what they are emotionally upset about you might be able to ‘shake’ them out of their agitated state ad back to rational conversation)

Walk out of the room (sometimes leaving the room and coming back gives your loved one time to calm down, and the simple fact of walking in/out of the room instantly changes the dynamic that existed between the two of you…and (better yet) sometimes gives your loved one time to ‘forget’ what they were being argumentative about)

To Be Continued: In the interim, I welcome your comments or suggestions from your own experience

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